Top 15 Ways Chuck Norris messes with Agile

A non-exhaustive compendium of Chuck Norris jokes that were found on the Web – and some of our own – concerning Agile Project Management. Enjoy and add yours.

  1. Chuck Norris always starts his projects with a Roundhouse-Kickoff.
  2. Chuck Norris is ScrumMaster and ProductOwner – simultaneously.
  3. Chuck Norris always wins at Planning Poker.
  4. Chuck Norris does not estimate, he knows.
  5. Chuck Norris can do 6-month sprints.
  6. Chuck Norris does not move story cards, he moves the taskboard.
  7. When Chuck Norris says “done”, believe me, it’s “done”.
  8. Even Chuck Norris is not allowed to be late at the stand-up meeting. Now you tell him.
  9. Chuck Norris can do a thousand sit-ups during the stand-up meeting.
  10. Chuck Norris answers just two questions on the stand-up meeting. Chuck Norris does not know obstacles.
  11. Chuck Norris is not afraid of bugs, bugs are afraid of him – really afraid.
  12. Chuck Norris does not do Kanban. He cannot get any leaner and he’s always there just in time!
  13. Chuck Norris pairs alone.
  14. Chuck Norris doesn’t do burn-down Charts, he does Smack-Down charts.
  15. Chuck Norris doesn’t iterate. It’s right the first time, forever.

Contribute to the list by adding yours in the comments!

This funny article was found on this link. BTW: I found really beneficial software Planbox is an Agile Project Management Tool that goes beyond software development.

Advertisements